What if I came back from a trip to find my house-sitter had bulldozed my backyard?
If I have to go on a long trip, I assume my house-sitter will do certain things without me needing to spell them out. They’ll discourage theft and vandalism (lock the doors when they leave), do normal maintenance (wipe up a spill of water that would otherwise damage the flooring), and arrange for the yard to be cared for.
In an emergency like a fire, I expect the house-sitter to take reasonable action – like using a fire extinguisher and calling emergency help.
In some situations, there might be multiple options, such as replacing vs. fixing a fence. Empty garden beds might be filled with vegetables, herbs, or decorative perennials so weeds don’t overtake them.
The house-sitter will have to use his or her best judgment. Their rights to make decisions as a house-sitter are directly tied to their responsibilities to care for the property and keep it in the best possible condition. They are a steward and a caretaker.
Stewards deal with problems that come up and also are proactive to prevent problems.
But do you know what wouldn’t fly with a house-sitter?
There’s just no possible justification for my house-sitter to do this.
I come home and they’ve made the decision to remove the deck and patio. The hot tub and the fire pit are gone – as are the benches, the pergola covered with grapes, and the flagstones leading to the yard. I’m not thrilled, to say the least. The house-sitter starts listing the potential benefits of not having backyard amenities:
- “I thought you wouldn’t like taking care of it”
- “I heard of someone who got hurt in a hot tub once”
- “They’re not really part of the house”
- “The view is still great”
- “It’s my right as a house-sitter”
But of course, none of these justifications carry much weight with me. Unless things are on fire or infested by termites or hopelessly irreparable, they should be preserved until the owner can decide if she personally would like to destroy them. A steward only has the decision-making rights appropriate to their responsibilities.
Every parent is a steward
And so it is with parents. Our responsibilities are great, so we do have many rights as parents. I’m as upset as you might be with parents being harassed or punished for decisions like homeschooling their children, allowing them to play at the park at an age they feel is safe, or wanting to monitor what their child checks out at the library but not being allowed to know due to the child’s “privacy.”
We have rights in schooling, activities, and what media our child is exposed to because we have responsibility in these areas. The specific rights parents have varies legally depending on the state and country, but I believe that that right and responsibility to feed, clothe, and educate our children is God-given.
We are God’s stewards over our children.
- 1 Timothy 5:8 gives biblical support to providing for the physical needs of our family.
- Deuteronomy 11:19 is one example of many that asks us to tell our children about God and what he has done.
- Colossians 3:21 reminds us to not “exasperate” our children.
There are many other examples in the Bible that give us direction on our job as parents. We steward our children’s physical, emotional, and mental health and growth until they are mature enough to do so themselves.
Bulldozing the backyard
What if my house-sitter decided to bulldoze the backyard? Remember the reasons they gave above?
- “I thought you wouldn’t like taking care of it”
- “I heard of someone who got hurt in a hot tub once”
- “They’re not really part of the house”
- “The view is still great”
- “It’s my right as a house-sitter”
Parents sometimes desire to consent to circumcision for their child, often because the father is circumcised. Perhaps they want to continue believing that his circumcision was a necessary procedure or an upgrade of some sort. But the truth is, circumcision is not necessary, nor does it prevent disease in any meaningful way. If it did prevent something, and there are less invasive choices that do just as well or better, we of course have the obligation to choose the less invasive route.
Circumcision has many complications and leaves the parts that are left without protection. But when they see the medical benefits disproven or hear that most doctors recommend against it, many parents fall back to “well, it’s my right as a parent” or “my child, my choice.”
“The official viewpoint of KNMG and other related medical/scientific organisations is that non-therapeutic circumcision of male minors is a violation of children’s rights to autonomy and physical integrity. Contrary to popular belief, circumcision can cause complications – bleeding, infection, urethral stricture and panic attacks are particularly common. KNMG is therefore urging a strong policy of deterrence. KNMG is calling upon doctors to actively and insistently inform parents who are considering the procedure of the absence of medical benefits and the danger of complications.” ~Royal Dutch Medical Association (KNMG). Affirmed by all associated medical organizations.
Just like the house-sitter, a steward has rights, but they are limited to preserving, repairing, and developing what they are in charge of. But limited rights doesn’t mean an unimportant role. You are not “just a steward” – you have a very important role in your child’s life.
Modern circumcision, like bulldozing the backyard.
And routine circumcision is akin to bulldozing someone’s backyard landscaping,** not akin to repairing a broken fence or having the chimney swept or deciding on plants for the front yard. If you don’t understand why I say that, please email me for more details or read about the functions and features of the foreskin.
God’s stewards
God created the human body and called it very good. Routine circumcision doesn’t address an existing problem and doesn’t prevent problems. (Very rarely, it is needed later for legitimate medical reasons – just like the removal of other body parts.) Circumcision doesn’t preserve, repair, or help develop the life that we are stewarding.
It doesn't fall within our rights as parents to make this permanent decision for our child.Click To TweetThat’s why it doesn’t fall within our rights as parents to make this permanent decision for our child. Our children are the real owners of their bodies, and even then, they are stewards, too. God is their creator and they answer to him.
Parents, may God bless you in your job description as a steward. It is hard. Not everyone will do it the same way. We do make mistakes, sometimes with the best of intentions. But with a true heart of stewardship we will learn the most we can about the decisions we make regarding our children, and do our best not to repeat or justify our mistakes under the banner of “parental rights.”
**Of course, a fabulous backyard can be rebuilt. The functions and structures of the prepuce removed by modern circumcision cannot be fully gained back.
- Little Images 2019 Survey Results - October 11, 2019
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- Play by the rules, kids. - January 28, 2019
Rebecca Prgomelja Boni says
I love this!
Amy Wood says
You analogy is spot on, Hannah! This is great!