52 responses

  1. Little Images
    December 21, 2015

    Thanks for you courage, conviction, and compassion, Tiffany! Please read and share, friends. Let this story keep others from making the same mistake.

    Reply

    • OWAVDA
      February 15, 2016

      Well done !, circumcision M or F, only the person in adulthood may decided the good thing is

      Reply

  2. Chris Fischer
    December 21, 2015

    Very sad story but hopefully your sharing will help other moms from putting their newborn sons through the tortuous ordeal.

    Reply

  3. Jessa Michelle Hopkins
    December 21, 2015

    If I ever have another son I will never circ again thank you for your story. Thank you for sharing! How is your son now?

    Reply

    • Tiffany
      December 22, 2015

      He is a happy, healthy little boy! He is still having some complications from the circumcision, like adhesions. This decision is definitely still haunting us.

      Reply

      • Mary Lanser
        January 13, 2016

        This happened to me 36 years ago…… But your story brought it all back to me. HUGE MISTAKE…… Not listening to those mama instincts is a huge mistake and I made it. If you are honest with your son…. He will forgive you…. Mine did.

        Reply

  4. Sarah Silcox Martin
    December 21, 2015

    This made me cry. I am also a regret mom. So glad someone shared the truth with me though and my youngest 2 are not cut

    Reply

  5. Brother K
    December 21, 2015

    DON’T FALL FOR THE CIRCUMCISION SCAM … More American parents are following the advice of the European medical community, which has condemned American doctors for circumcising baby boys. The Royal Dutch Medical Association reports: “International physicians protest against American Academy of Pediatrics’ policy on infant male circumcision. Circumcision conflicts with children’s rights and doctors’ oath and can have serious long-term consequences, state an international group of 38 physicians from 16 European countries in Pediatrics today.” http://knmg.artsennet.nl/Nieuws/Overzicht-nieuws/Nieuwsbericht/129608/International-physicians-protest-against-American-Academy-of-Pediatrics-policy-on-infant-male-circumcision.htm

    Parents can learn more from the university lecture, “Elephant in the Hospital” .. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ceht-3xu84I

    Reply

    • Jill Burns
      October 24, 2016

      I just wish I would have known the truth in 1979. #imaregretmom
      #hisdadisaregretdad

      #hisbodyhischoice

      When we know better we do better. ❤️

      Reply

  6. Karen Speed
    December 22, 2015

    I’m a regret mom, too. I wish my doctor had told me the truth. 🙁 I had no other resources but him, and he told me I should get it done. 🙁

    Reply

  7. Hannah
    December 21, 2015

    Thanks for sharing that story Tiffany. It’s really sad and unethical that doctors lied to you and told you that this was necessary. I hope that you are able to find forgiveness and peace, and that your story can open the eyes of others.
    I’m curious what you would say to families that have circumcised a child but didn’t notice any dramatic and immediate negative results such as an ER visit? Everyone thinks “that won’t happen to me”.

    Reply

    • Tiffany
      December 22, 2015

      That may depend on my mood….. I may simply ask them why they would play Russian roulette with their child’s health and hope nothing this horrible happens or I might ask them why they are considering doing it and bust the myths for them.

      Reply

  8. Ryan Watson
    December 22, 2015

    Thank you so much for sharing your story Tiffany!

    Reply

  9. Teresa
    December 22, 2015

    I have no regrets having our boys done. They were swollen at first too but healed up quite fine. Both my boys were more content babies than my girls. My oldest is now 33 and a dad and had his boys all done with no issues. Two of the boys were not as content as the third but I think that’s more their personalities than their circs. My youngest son is 17 and has never had issues either.

    My oldest daughter never had her son done as his dad wasn’t and they are constantly dealing with infections and he is now almost 3.

    My dad was in the army and the stories he told of the uncircumcised men having infections and having to get circumcised as adults did not sound fun so that is why I had both my boys done plus the fact my husband was done. The horror stories I heard were not lies but each person has to make the decision for themselves.

    I do not condem anyone for not getting their sons done, and I hope no one condemns me for having my sons done.

    Reply

    • Joseph
      December 22, 2015

      Romans 8:1, Teresa. We would never condemn you for doing the only thing you knew how to do at the time. Our culture has a very unique bias to this issue, and a lot of that stems from bad advice given to parents by American-educated doctors. This goes for the military, too. Other countries just don’t have these horror stories. In fact, the complication rate in Finland is one circumcision for every 16,667 men.

      Look at it this way: if a woman from Egypt came on and said, “We circumcised our daughters when they were born because it’s cleaner and because we’ve heard too many stories from doctors about what happens when girls aren’t cut. All of the women in my family are cut and so are their daughters”, what would you say?

      Also, many side effects aren’t apparent until adulthood. I didn’t realize I had any issues until puberty. I still thought what I was experiencing was ‘normal’, until I did some research and found out what had happened to me.

      Lastly, you say, “each person has to make the decision for themselves.” I agree. Each person *should* make the decision for themselves. That is to say, ethically, that the person who owns the penis should be the one to decide whether he wants the most erogenous part of it cut off, no one else. Not even parents, unless it’s a life-or-death scenario. If you check out this previous blog, https://www.littleimages.org/blog/stewards-not-owners-parents-rights/, you’ll see what I mean.

      God bless.

      Reply

      • Kittie
        December 23, 2015

        Well said Joseph!!

        Everybody should have the right to choose for them self if they want intact genitals or not. This should not be up to someone else; not even a parent unless it’s a life/death situation. So many people get confused about what personal choice really means. It boggles my mind.

        Reply

      • Kittie
        December 23, 2015

        Also, I hate the argument “he’s circed and has had no issues”…Um, he had no issues before you cut him. Don’t try to fix what is not broken. Foreskin is not a birth defect. The male race is not born defective. Foreskin is supposed to be there. Everything about foreskin is good and everything about circumcision is absolutely awful.

        Reply

      • Lo
        December 16, 2016

        Exactly; and whether a man ever has issues or not is besides the point, it still does not remove the initial trauma that the newborn experienced and it matters how we welcome babies into the world. Also, one of the MANY purposes of the foreskin is the role that it plays during sexual intercourse so many boys will not experience problems until they become sexually active men and these men will surely not be telling their mothers about these potential problems.

        Reply

    • Mary Lanser
      January 13, 2016

      That sounds like improper care of intact genitals as being the cause of infection issues…… Not being intact as that is actually NORMAL! 70-80% of the worlds males are intact as nature intended. Honestly….. Cutting off normal healthy tissue that has multiple beneficial functions and is a PART of the male penis is quite insane and can’t be justified. His body = His decision…. When he is an informed adult!

      Reply

    • Lo
      January 15, 2016

      “Constantly” dealing with infections”? Really? If that’s true, that usually results from improper intact care, when the parents are retracting the baby’s foreskin and cleaning underneath it, which should NEVER be done. My 24 year old son is intact and he has NEVER had problems with his normal, healthy, functioning, multi-purposeful self cleaning foreskin because I completely left it alone while he was a baby and toddler. The foreskin is NOT a birth defect, all human beings are born with a foreskin–males and females. Did you cut your daughter’s foreskin? Ever seen the feminine hygiene product aisle at the supermarket? There are tons of products that are sold for us because we women get way more infections, UTI’s, odors, discharges, etc, than men EVER do and we certainly do NOT mutilate our genitals to deal with these issues. In a female, the foreskin is the clitoral hood. How would YOU feel it someone held you down by force and cut away at YOUR foreskin? No one has the right to cut off any part of someone else’s genitals without that person’s competent, fully informed consent. Genital cutting is a human rights violation, “done”, as you like to say, by unethical doctors who are motivated by greed and financial reward.

      Reply

    • Elisabeth Epperson
      January 15, 2016

      Issues with adhesions and infections from an intact penis are rare, unless parents are taught (and they often are in the us) that if they don’t circ then they have to retract the foreskin to clean under it. Adhesions are not an issue with an intact penis that isn’t retracted because adhesions are normal, the foreskin is supposed to adhere to the head of the penis, until the child is older, at which time the adhesions have gone away and the child is old enough to rinse himself with water when he showers…just like girls. Medical adhesion problems in an intact penis are because by retracting the foreskin, the adhesions are ripped apart and the body is trying to pit everything back together again. That’s why adhesions are actually far more common in boys who have been circ, not in intact boys, and certainly not intact boys whose caregivers know not to retract.
      My son is two and a half and intact and has zero problems so far. But even if he had infections (he would t have adhesions because we know not to retract but even if we had those too p) I still wouldn’t circ. It’s his body, his choice. I would do whatever I can to protect his choice…and would only do it out of medical necessity, which is extremely rare.

      Reply

    • Jennifer
      January 20, 2016

      I really despise this point that I often hear from people in favour of circ:

      “My dad was in the army and the stories he told of the uncircumcised men having infections and having to get circumcised as adults did not sound fun so that is why I had both my boys done…”

      Why would a newborn baby feel any less pain than an adult male? At least an adult is making a conscious decision and is able to rationalize the pain. A newborn is dealing with the trauma of birth, they don’t also need the trauma of such unnecessary pain.

      Reply

      • Chris Toth
        December 22, 2018

        I agree. It’s lack of regular showers or baths that causes infection in army soldiers, not the foreskin. Not every baby boy will join the army or fight in the war when they grow up, moreover, if he did, it would be at an appropriate age where he can decide for himself weather or not he thinks it’s necessary to get himself circumcised. Infections in foreskins are extremely rare and can be cured naturally by rincing in warm water and Epsom salts, then applying coconut oil to the infected area. It heals quickly within a day, 2 days maximum and usually stays healed. Both Epsom salts and coconut oil have anti-fungal and antibacterial properties.

        Reply

  10. Jackie
    December 21, 2015

    My doc didn’t do the circumcision because he has never done them but another doctor he knew did it and later my doc came to look at it. One of the things they told me was if it was bleeding a lot to take him to the doctor. It never did bleed when I brought him home there were a couple little spots of blood but nothing to worry about. And out here if your baby is not pooping and peeing regularly they won’t let you leave the hospital. My son never had jaundice but I don’t think they will let you leave then either depending on how bad it is. I would have freaked out on everyone in that hospital if they had treated my son and I like that. You know your child better than anyone else so if you are concerned they should be as well. My son is 6 months old and I take him to the doc all the time because I am worried about something. And they always examine him and make sure he is healthy and answer any questions I have. They never treat me like I am stupid for taking him in they are very understanding and respectful as any doctor should be.

    Reply

  11. Lisa Weinstein
    December 22, 2015

    Thank you for your courage, Tiffany. I could have very easily been a regret mom. The American public so needs to hear regret mom stories.

    Reply

    • Kittie
      December 23, 2015

      I could have been a regret mom too. I’m so glad the intactivist community speaks up on this issue. They taught me something very important and from then on I swore to myself that I would also speak out against circumcision too. My baby won’t be the only one I save from this terrible procedure.

      Reply

  12. Jillyn Allred
    December 22, 2015

    Thank you for having the courage to tell your story

    Reply

  13. Melanie R. Childers
    December 22, 2015

    They pushed it heavily on me in the hospital. Every shift change each nurse came in asking WHEN are we circumcising him? One came in trying to hand me a brochure on circ care. It’s disgusting what they do or try to do to us mothers to trick us into letting them harm our sons… >:( But every story of regret moms/circumcised boys and also intact boys chips away at their abuse of power , and I thank you for sharing yours! <3

    Reply

    • Kittie
      December 23, 2015

      Whatever is done in the dark will eventually come to light 🙂

      Reply

  14. Carolyn Greenfield
    December 25, 2015

    I have 2 relatives that I tried to give information to about circumcision.. because both had boy babies. The first was a first cousin and he got angry about my “pushing” information at him. It went nowhere. The second is my step brother and he seemed armed and ready for me.. since he had heard from the cousin how “pushy” I was.
    In the end they both circumcised their boys and the step brother got very upset with me and said I crossed the line! and that he does’t want much to do with me.
    I told him in a recent conversation that I felt that I was “advocating for his son.. because no one else was” and said that I was sorry. It is a very hot topic. Very hard to talk about. Because those that do are so set on doing it no matter what!

    Reply

  15. Cynthia
    January 20, 2016

    Hey Tiffany, I’m so sorry to hear that you had such an unbearable experience circumcising your son, No one should ever have an experience like that. I have 3 sons and have had all of them circumcised, thank goodness we never had any issues or complications. And I also breastfed them and continued to do so after the circumcisions. Unfortunately, everyone is different and will have different experiences and reactions to those experiences. I hope all is well with you and child now.

    Reply

  16. Michelle Wilbert
    January 20, 2016

    Tiffany: I am a midwife and mother of four young adult children–two boys and two girls. No, I didn’t circumcise my sons but that’s not the reason I’m posting. If you want to help your son, you have to stop beating yourself up and feeling so guilty. You made a decision you came to regret–no life escapes that fate. And no, this isn’t the thing you will most regret as a parent–I promise you that other things will happen that you will–in hindsight–wish you had not done or said. It all comes with the job description.
    Whether you were well-informed or not, you made the best decision you could at the time–let it go. Give yourself a break because this is going to impact the way you parent your son and parenting in a state of guilt and remorse is NOT healthy parenting. You are a good and loving mother who made a regrettable decision–it happens. Your son is not “ruined” or “damaged” and he can have a good–wonderful–life. Many children suffer all sorts of unpleasant things in infancy or early childhood–I’ve known children who’ve had cancer from the age of 18 months who suffered through horrific treatments and surgeries only to go on to full recovery and beautiful, healthy lives. Children are wonderfully resilient and as parents, we have to model that resilience to them. Your attitude about this is going to have more of a determination in how your son views it and his life going forward than the circumcision ever could so please help yourself and your son by forgiving yourself and moving forward. Be at peace and know that your son will be healthy and strong in every way and you don’t have to burden yourself–and him–with guilt and anxiety so far beyond the actual precipitating event.

    Reply

  17. Lise
    January 21, 2016

    I whole-heartedly agree with you, Michelle!! So well said. Tiffany’s story made me think, and was a different perspective, which is thought provoking. However, I still think that parents do and must make decisions for their children that they believe impact the child’s health. And I think it is a very personal decision, and people should not feel judged for it, whatever they decide is right for their child and family.

    Reply

    • Joseph
      February 9, 2016

      Hi Lise,

      We at Little Images might suggest reading some of our other material or checking out some of the articles on i2researchhub.org. We don’t want people to feel judged for mistakes they made before they knew any better, but we wholeheartedly believe here that barring life and death emergencies, prophylactic surgery to prevent possible problems that are much easier solved with less-invasive interventions such as antibiotics.

      Also, as for your use of the word ‘personal’: we agree with you. However, the word personal in this case can only refer to the person who owns the penis. If it’s not your penis, then it can’t be a personal decision for you to make. Saying it’s a ‘personal decision’ to make a permanent change to someone else’s body doesn’t compute.

      Let me know what you think.

      -Joe from LI

      Reply

  18. Melanie R. Childers
    February 2, 2016

    This is also a very sad story. Baby’s lung collapsed and he ALMOST bled to death. The doctor played it off as only a “slight” complication.

    Reply

  19. Melanie R. Childers
    February 2, 2016

    They love to say it’s harder for adult men than babies. How many adult men have had a collapsed lung screaming from adult circumcision? I’m betting none.

    Reply

  20. Janet Roelens
    February 2, 2016

    Unless it’s 100% medically necessary: it is 100% wrong and criminal to cut and alter forever the genitals of your daughter or your son! Thank you for sharing!
    https://www.endalldisease.com/8-negative-effects-of-male-circumcision-on-female-sexuality/

    Reply

  21. Gabby White
    February 2, 2016

    Wow I’m soooo happy there are this many aware people!!!!!!!!! The times are changing and for the best!!!!! I’m due in March with my first son! He will be born perfect and wholesome!

    Reply

  22. Christina
    February 23, 2016

    I am also a regret mom. My sons experience thank God was not as horrific as yours sounds. My son didn’t cry or bleed but it was so red and raw I cried for days. I didn’t want to do this to my son but I regretfully did as his father wanted because he said I’m not a man and I wouldn’t understand. I am now pregnant again and I hate to admit I was hoping for a girl so I didn’t have to make this kind of decision again. I did just find out it is going to be another boy and I am very excited but so worried about whether or not to have this done. My new husband this time is saying it’s my decision and I’ve said no way but now I’m so worried that my older son will grow up to hate me, or that my younger son will want it done and be mad that I didn’t choose for it to be done when he was young and won’t remember.. Any advice to ease my mind or what to tell my son about why I allowed his father to talk me into it?

    Reply

  23. Cynthia Munford
    May 12, 2017

    Heartbreaking comments on this article.

    Reply

  24. Dee Sang
    May 12, 2017

    I sincerely hope every regret mom writes to and calls the people responsible for doing the cutting.
    I am constantly told when I talk with doctors
    “No one has ever complained”
    Please mothers, please complain. To everyone….
    The cutter
    The nurses
    The nursing supervisors
    The chaplain
    Risk management
    The patient advocate
    Complain to them
    Tell them they hurt you and your son

    Reply

  25. Clenilde Burke
    May 12, 2017

    My heart goes out to this mom and all moms who regret it. Reading all these stories helps me fight even harder for the day I ever have a son to not let him go through this. I have no reason to believe that a circumcised penis is the better option. I’ve seen the after math in my nephews and my friends baby boys after they got cut and it makes me sick. My heart is shattered and I want to cry.

    Reply

  26. Mikie Johnson
    May 12, 2017

    When he becomes a man I wonder if he would have preferred the pain?

    Reply

  27. Kayla Dean-Foley
    May 12, 2017

    .Conclusion

    The claims of “potential benefits”, allegedly provided by medically unnecessary, non-therapeutic circumcision, lack any real support from medical science. United States medical literature, as compared with the medical literature of other nations, is highly biased in favor of male circumcision.67 The word “potential” means to exist in possibility but not in actuality. The scientific literature that supports such “potential” benefits is written mostly by doctors who were reared in circumcising cultures.68,69

    http://www.i2researchhub.org/articles/ch-3-alleged-medical-benefits-of-circumcision-doc-genital-integrity-statement/

    Reply

  28. Leesa Knox
    May 13, 2017

    We live in a time when there is SO much information available. There is really no excuse for ‘I wish someone had told me” or ‘I wished i had known’. You have at least 9 months to research.

    Reply

  29. Janet Roelens
    May 13, 2017

    The medical mafia has failed many parents: and sons… boys… men! The veil, however, is lifting! #EndMGM 🙏🏾

    Reply

  30. Darillyn Lamb Starr
    May 14, 2017

    Just the fact that people licensed to practice medicine are willing to do this suggests to parents that it must be a medically sound procedure, and confuses parents into thinking it’s OK. Those docs should actually be arrested for child abuse and mental and physical cruelty, as well as malpractice. When they start getting what they deserve, rather than getting easy money for it, it will make a statement, loud and clear, that it’s NOT an acceptable thing to do! That woman doctor was arrested for merely making a nick in the clitoral hood, yet they can spent 5-10 minutes tearing, crushing and cutting off an important part of the penis of baby boys, and be rewarded for it? It’s total insanity!

    Reply

  31. Dr. Nelson Davisson
    November 27, 2017

    Three things that are difficult to hide: the sun the moon and the truth

    Reply

  32. Roger Kevin Williams
    May 9, 2018

    I too am an adult male that was circumcised at birth because back in the mid-1960s my mom was told by her OB-GYN that “every boy needs to be circumcised because it’s cleaner, healthier and easier to care for a circumcised penis than it is with an uncircumcised one”. Unfortunately my mom bought into the lies and had me cut against her maternal instincts. A few years ago, I was watching a medical show that featured infant circumcision. My mother began to cry when she seen newborn boys being circumcised and my mother stated, “I guess I never realized until now just how unnecessary and barbaric circumcision really is. My mother looked at me with tears streaming down her face and apologized to me and asked me if I will ever forgive her for allowing me to be circumcised and having to experience such ghastly horrific pain. I forgave her. But, honestly when I was growing up I resented being stripped of my right to have a say in whether or not I was circumcised. Not being given an opportunity to know what it feels like to have a foreskin has bothered me for the past 40 years and I wish I could have had a say in whether or not my body was mutilated or not. Over the past five years I have been restoring my foreskin and I can say that even though the thousands and thousands of nerves that were severed when I was cut can never be restored I would recommend foreskin restoration to any male that was cut as a youngster. I am a die-hard intactivist and I hope we see the day that our nation realizes that infant circumcision is morally, ethically and physically WRONG when it comes to underage males being circumcised against their will. I will never understand why it is wrong and illegal for American parents to circumcise their young daughters but it’s perfectly fine to mutilate a boy’s genitals because it looks cleaner and is suppose to be healthier and less hassle to keep clean. I am very proud to say that I am a diehard member of both NO-CIRC and NORM. Doctors take a Hippocratic Oath to “Do No Harm” but yet when it comes to cutting the healthy penises of our boys here in America, doctors don’t see it as doing harm. All they see is a paycheck for doing a five minute operation. I’ve worked in one Oklahoma’s largest hospital organizations for over 25 years. And I can tell you I have spent many a night shift trying my damndest to avoid going anywhere near the newborn nurseries because all through the night you can tell when the doctors are doing circumcisions because you can hear the boys’ blood curdling shrieks and cries during the entire “short” procedure and even for hours after the procedure is over. I’ve actually asked OB-GYN doctors that circumcise if they can’t tell that those boys are being put into shock by being circumcised and without fail each doctor has laughed and said, “Giving newborn boys Lidocaine shots in and around the genital area doesn’t work and you cannot give newborn boys anesthesia so we just strap them into their Cir-cum-straint Board and snip away. They only cry because they don’t like having their arms and legs restrained. They aren’t crying because of pain. Newborns’ immune systems are too immature for them to be able to feel any form of pain.” I’ve always asked these same doctors why all newborns shriek and cry when they have their heels pricked by a needle to obtain a blood sample. And without fail, these same doctors says, “Well, they cry because the needle sticking their heels is painful and so they cry for a while, most times the boys being circumcised sleep right through the whole procedure”. Which is a BOLDFACED lie! I’ve had to be in the nearby room when boys are being circumcised and EVERYONE of them that I have seen scream like their having scalding hot water thrown on them and they cry sooo hard that many of them go into a catatonic state of shock and I’ve actually seen as many as 30-40 of these newborn males over the years cry so hard that they have ruptured their lungs and began coughing up blood or go into cardiac arrest and die as a result of the extreme pain and shock to their immature systems. BUT, none of these doctors want to address those few that go into medical distress or that eventually die as a result of being cut on. I’ve even asked these same doctors, “Well, I guess since it is a quick and painless common procedure, if you was still intact you wouldn’t have any qualms about having your foreskin sliced off with or without any preventative pain killers would you?” Without fail, these same doctors reply with, “Well, circumcision is a whole different matter when you experience it as an adult because even with the use of Lidocaine shots you still feel the foreskin being excised so it is ALWAYS performed on adult males that have been knocked out with anesthesia otherwise they would be screaming their heads off.” And I always have to reply, “Just like those newborn boys do each and every time that scalpel starts slicing into their most sensitive organ on their body, huh, Doc?” Doctors now days see circumcision as a way to make a quick $300-500 and the hospitals and entire medical field LOVES having newborn males circumcised because they are able to sell the snipped off foreskins to the HUGE pharmaceutical industry for BILLIONS and BILLIONS so they can utilize the discarded skin for harvesting to make skin grafts for burn patients and the makers of skin lotion and hair conditioners. The European nations have learned that circumcision is harmful, painful, and doesn’t prevent the owner of the excised penis from contracting UTIs, penial cancers or contracting/passing on HIV. The time has come for this barbaric, unnecessary surgical mutilation to be BANNED and OUTLAWED throughout the entire nation for the sake of our precious, innocent, healthy little boys!

    Reply

  33. Peter Chung
    November 18, 2018

    The reason why mothers choose to circumcise their sons is that they prefer a modified penis over a natural one. That’s it. It seems they would not have regretted it had the process been painless. But that is missing the point. The reason to oppose circumcision is that you are depriving another person of their natural birthright, an intact body. The pain you cause the baby, by itself, can be justified if the procedure warranted it.

    Reply

  34. Peter Chung
    November 18, 2018

    Mothers who agree to have their sons circumcised do it because they do not want a natural, unaltered penis. That’s it. They may feel regretful once they realize the amount of distress the procedure entails, but if that is the reason for regret, then they still don’t get it. Pain can be justified if the outcome warrants it. The reason why circumcision is wrong is not because it is painful. It’s wrong because it denies the boy the right to his whole natural body.

    Reply

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